I have been reflecting lately on how I became the person that I am today, how my personality developed and how my belief systems were formed. Yeah… I’m weird! I think about these things all the time!
I don’t have all the answers and probably never will but what I do know is that when I think about these important life forming eventualities, I always come back with the thought, “would I have turned out differently if Matthew had never been sent to be my brother”?
And the answer is ALWAYS a resounding… yup!😊
I don’t have too many memories before the age of 4 years old but the ones that I do have, always feature my younger brother Matthew! We are 22 months apart to the day, and I literally don’t remember my life without him.
Matthew was born with physical and intellectual limitations. He was hydrocephalic at birth and therefore has a fairly large head. I am thankful that they didn’t put a shunt in his head, as was a common practice 50 years ago, as I believe that may have caused more long-term complications/consequences and health issues. He has mild cerebral palsy and some balance issues but gets around just fine on his own!
Matthew didn’t do much walking or talking till about the age of 4 years old but once he started moving and speaking, he has never stopped! Our whole family was, and continues to be, Matthew’s personal cheer leading squad and he has thrived in this world that has not always been as kind to him as he is to it.
Matthew and I have lived in the same house/town for most of our lives, except for only a handful of years in our early 20’s as we grew into adulthood and I got settled and ventured out on some of the paths my life would lead me. When I got married in 1997, about a week later I told my husband that I wanted Matthew to come live with us so he could continue to work on his independent life skills. Without any hesitation whatsoever, and knowing this would most likely mean that Matthew would be our responsibility and in our lives from this point on, my wonderful partner said “ABSOLUTELY – when can we make this happen?”
Since that time, over 25 years ago, Matthew has grown into an independent guy with a job and his own place and a busy social life filled with Special Olympic sports, volunteering, friends and hanging out with us when he can find time to pencil us into his schedule! He still requires ongoing support but WOW – he has accomplished so much and amazes me every day! Even though the odds have been stacked against him, he still comes out with a smile and a kind word for everyone.
Matthew has this strange hypnotic effect on the people that he meets… whether they just meet him in passing or become a person he has regular contact with. When people meet him, they remember him. Not only that … it doesn’t matter where he goes (from remote fishing locations in the middle of nowhere wilderness to the airport in Tanzania) he runs into someone who knows him… and remembers him because he just has that kind of an effect on people! This phenomenon is something that I can not explain and let me tell you … I am not exaggerating – THIS HAPPENS ALL OF THE TIME!!! Talk about the law of attraction at its finest!
So, what is it about Matthew that draws people in and impacts them on a level that he is imprinted in their memories forever? I am not sure if I could pinpoint any one thing … he’s the whole package! He is so genuine, wonderfully inspirational, his happiness is infectious and he is just ….kind.
This story comes back to how I often reflect on how I became who I am today. Matthew had a profound impact in forming my emotional intelligence from a very young age and I am blessed to be able to continue to learn from him every day. He influenced the teachings of compassion, empathy, love, protectiveness, acceptance, patience and most of all… kindness.
I recently said to him that one of the most magical things about him is that he is kind and happy to everyone, even if they aren’t always kind to him. He looked me straight in the eye and said “magical … like do you mean it is one of my super powers”? Yes Matthew… that is most definitely one of your super powers!
A lesson we should all try to remember every day – be genuine, be happy and above all else... just be kind… be more like Matthew❤️
Much love
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