I have been told frequently throughout my life that I am not grounded. I have been told that I live in my head and that I have my head stuck in the clouds. The funny thing is, I have never been offended or slighted by any of these references simply because I never saw these characteristics as being a problem.
Then at the end of October 2020, my sister passed away. I cried easily those first few days after her transition, not sure of what life would be like without her in it. We lived in different provinces, so I knew it may take a little time before reality would sink in. And yet, almost immediately I noticed something very odd going on with me.
Every time I took a really deep breath my entire body would hurt so incredibly that I was certain something was wrong. Like most of us do when we’re in pain, I adjusted my breathing to short, shallow breaths. These short, shallow breaths allowed me to think of my sister but not feel the pain of her being gone. However, as time went on, this became harder and harder to maintain.
A realization crept in. By NOT breathing deeply I could avoid painful emotions and simply escape into my head to hang out with my thoughts… pain-free! I recognized that this was my go-to coping mechanism… and had been pretty much my entire life! What's more, I had no idea that this is what I was doing!!
I decided to speak to my therapist about this and ask her for her expert guidance to fix this newly discovered avoidance tactic (which I had mastered over the numerous decades of my life). I even secretly felt sorry for her in that my avoidance issue was going to be difficult for her to solve.
Having shared with her my discovery, I sat there in front of my computer screen on our zoom call with anxious expectation… partly worried that she wouldn’t have the expertise to ‘fix’ me and partly excited for the possibility that together we would work our way through this difficult issue.
She took a deep breath, pushed up her glasses and looked at me with her kind and beautiful eyes, and said, “Two things.”
“Ok!”, I said with anticipation.
“You need to breathe… DEEPLY; and you need to move your body.”
I was a bit annoyed… who am I kidding, I was really annoyed! WTF! My situation was complex and couldn’t possibly be worked through with breath and movement! But I trusted her and instead of swearing at her, I watched her place a hand on her chest, “Breathe with me, Debbi, you can do it!”
I didn’t at first, but she just sat there on our zoom call breathing deeply; finally, my stubborn annoyance gave way and I too placed my hand on my chest and began to breathe… deeply…
By breath 2 my entire body was on fire. Every part of me ached and seared with pain. Faintly I heard my therapist encourage me to keep breathing, as with gusto all the emotions I had been avoiding for months came flooding out. I ugly cried that day while my therapist breathed with me over zoom.
My biggest fear has always been, that if I allow myself to truly feel my deepest and darkest emotions, I may not recover… or if I do, recovery will take very, very long (and who has time for that?).
Well, finally, after what felt like hours, my tears subsided, and my deep breaths began to feel invigorating instead of painful. I looked at the time at the bottom right of my computer screen and noticed that we had been on our call for ONLY 25 minutes!
She debriefed with me, asked me how I was feeling, told me to drink lots of water, and just as we were ending our session she said, “Debbi, you MUST move your body. When you find yourself shallow breathing to retreat into your mind so you can avoid emotional pain, please pause, breathe deeply and move your body!”
Since that powerful session, I am realizing that my body wants to help me heal, and that it can help me heal the BEST with breath and movement! My body has joined me in every experience I have had in my life so far; she’s been there with me through the good times and the bad. She falls asleep with me every night and wakes with me each morning.
My body and yours are physical manifestations of magic in the making!! Yes, please!!
Wow, breath and movement… this is the very framework of the breath connection’s mission!!
I would like to invite you to join our one of our “Pain Reduction Clinics”
We will share how we have healed our own bodies and helped thousands of others heal theirs by focusing on the first and most important pain reduction tool… our breath ♥
Two options for our ‘Pain Reduction Clinics’:
A Live In-Person Class:
Monday, September 25th
5:00pm - 6:15pm
Senior’s Recreation Center - 3701 Rainbow Drive Prince George, BC
Cost $10
Click HERE to sign up for In-person class
A Live Online ZOOM Class:
Tuesday, September 26th
7:00pm - 8:15pm
Live over ZOOM
Cost $7
Click HERE to sign up for online class
You are also invited to sign-up for our FREE digital guide called ‘Four Steps to Vibrant Health’!
One sweet breath at a time… you too can heal and invigorate your body, mind and soul! You are soo worth the investment ♥
Much Love,
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