As we start this last month of summer, I can’t help but pause, reflect and remember the people in my life who have transitioned out of their earthly bodies.
I would like to thank my business partner, Liesl, for sharing her experience with he passing of her dear friend… I feel my reflection on the passing of my loved ones this fall is a result of Liesl’s recent blog. Thank you, my friend ❤️
September always feels like the start of a new year for me. Perhaps it’s because schools and universities start new years at this time, or perhaps it’s the harvest season and the preparation for winter makes everything feel like the start or repeat of a new season.
Regardless of why September feels like a new year for me, this is also the time of year where I find my self reflecting and remembering the ones I love that are no longer here with me in physical form.
It’s true, I have felt deeply the passing of a few key people in my life, my younger brother in 2007, my favourite Auntie in 2011, my dad in 2016, and yet it was the passing of my sister in 2020 that revealed to me an anger that I didn’t expect..
Gidget Earlene Spiers-Harrison. Born May 6, 1966. Gidget and I didn’t grow up together, but found each other when we were adults in the fall of 1999.
Our connection was strong from the start and although we had no memories of being children together, it did feel like we had known each other our whole lives. She stepped into being big sister very naturally… I would tease her about this, telling her she was just naturally bossy, so the big sister role was perfect for her. She would giggle her big giggle and tell me that being bossy was her superpower (it sure was – haha)
We had so many plans… visiting Scotland, attending Mardi Gras, starting a business together, road tripping across Canada, walking the el Camino (or at least part of it) and whatever else we could dream up! We often mentioned that our goal was to make copious amounts of memories as adults to make up for the memories we never made as children.
… but first we would raise our children! She was pregnant with her second baby and last baby in 1999 when we connected and I would have my 4th and child in 2001. While we watched our children grow to adulthood, me any my children visited Gidget and her family in Victoria, BC every year from 2003 to 2019.
Gidget had been struggling with chronic health conditions since her mid-twenties; one of these health concerns was her lung capacity. She had often told me that the island was too damp and that her lungs needed drier conditions.
The winter of 2019 that Gidget and I started planning for her to come spend the summer of 2020 with me in Alberta. She assured me that her family was on board with this plan, as her children were then both over 18. It was just my youngest son that would not be 18 until September of 2020.
Haha, we had done it… raised or kids! Watched them grow into kind, amazing and smart humans who were finding their way as adults in this world 😊
I was excited for her spend time with me in my home and was so hopeful that the dry prairie air would be just the medicine she needed.
As the summer of 2020 drew near, our plans were made… I would come from Alberta and pick her up at the Tsawwassen ferry terminal the morning of June 22, 2020. Although I had seen Gidget the summer before, I could not believe my eyes when I saw her. Her health had deteriorated so incredibly that she was almost unrecognizable!
We drove as far as Prince George that first day as we were going to spend a few days with our wonderful brother Doug and his beautiful partner Marnie. Having spent a few days in Doug and Marnie’s serene and peaceful home we continued to Grande Prairie, Alberta (where I was living at the time) on Friday, June 26.
Saturday… was spent resting, visiting and drinking tea.
Sunday… (in the pouring rain might I add – haha) I went out and purchased a few things that Gidget had requested.
Monday… I had to return to work. When I got home after work, Gidget was waiting for me… dressed in a beautiful grey wool dress, grey tights and some purple suede loafers. Here hair was done and she looked beautiful. When I asked why she was so dressed up, she announced that she wanted me to show her around Grande Prairie.
I was thrilled! We started our city driving tour by going through the Dairy Queen drive-through. I showed her all the main landmarks of where I lived and worked. Later that night, as I was going to bed, I remember feeling soo hopeful that her time with me in Grande Prairie would provide her with some much needed rest and healing.
Tuesday… June 30, 2020 I woke to sounds of someone calling for me. It was Gidget. She had fallen in the bathroom. She was in so much pain. I tried to calm her and explain that I could not move her in case something was broken. I called the ambulance.
Gidget was admitted into the QEII hospital in Grande Prairie with a broken hip and what appeared to have been a stroke. Gidget remained in the Grande Prairie hospital until July 24th when she was transferred to the University of Alberta hospital in Edmonton. She remained in Edmonton until August 19 when it was decided that she would need to be transferred back to Victoria General Hospital.
With only one short return to her home in Victoria, Gidget remained in the Victoria General hospital until October 31, 2020 when my sister transformed out of her physical body.
Hearing of her passing I was devastated at first and then I got angry…. So angry. It has taken almost 4 years for me to let go of my anger toward my sister’s death. And part of this releasing of anger toward her is due to a runny tap in the bathroom at my work… yes I said runny not leaky 😊
There are 3 sinks in the ladies bathroom at my work. All 3 sinks have motion activated taps. For months now I would notice that one tap would consistently run on it’s own… not when I would walk by it on my way to one of the bathroom stalls, but always after I was already in a stall and peeing. The tap would never run for long, maybe just for 5 or 6 seconds.
This would often make me giggle and think, ‘I bet it’s Gidget! It would be just like her to be hilarious like this.’
Finally, one day in early June of this year, the tap serenaded me with it’s running stream of water while I was peeing. When it stopped, I said, “Gidget, if that’s you, make the tap run again.”
… a few seconds later the tap ran again! It had not done this before. I didn’t know whether to be a little freaked out or brave… I chose brave, and replied, “Can you do it again?”
… a few seconds later the tap ran again! I giggled out loud! I had my sister back!
In the days that followed I shared with some of my colleagues what I had experienced. Some were receptive, some seemed skeptical… but to me I could feel my anger toward my sister’s death dissipating and my memories of her were offering me comfort instead of pain.
Recently, I met one of my colleagues in the hallway of our offices, she stopped me and said, “I just said hi to your sister… the tap was running so I said ‘Hi!”
Tears welled in my eyes, love overflowed in my heart and I replied, “Thank you for telling me! This is how she can live on, she can come hangout with me at work!”
We all grieve in our own ways. If you are grieving or missing a loved one, I want you to know that I care about your journey and hold intentions for your memories to also become a comfort on the other side of the pain.
Even for grief, our breath is one of the most powerful resources we have to calm, centre and ground us. Email us anytime.
Much Love,
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