The Four Agreements
I am currently re-reading ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz for the 5th or 6th time. (I have lost count!)
It is one of the books that I read in the very early days of my spiritual journey, and it was so impactful that I find myself drawn back to it for another read every two or three years.
I cannot remember who recommended it or how I stumbled upon it… but I completely remember every detail of the first time I read it.
It was December and I had shut down my toffee manufacturing business the previous July, my partner Doug had stepped away from his upper-level management position with Costco in October…and we were definitely floundering.
I was resuming my private massage and exercise rehab practice and Doug was embarking on a whole new career as a Wine Sommelier. We were financially unstable, going through some family crap, unsure of what we wanted out of our businesses and emotionally exhausted.
We also had a friend, Paully, who was staying with us. He was retreating from a very toxic relationship... so our household definitely felt pretty messed up!
Paully had a buddy who had just opened a new pizza place and he was helping him out by doing some pizza deliveries on the weekends.
One Saturday night, Paully called and frantically asked if Doug could come and help… the pizza place was slammed, and the two young drivers had bought a bag of weed with their early evening tips and then drove off into the sunset… leaving Paully as the one and only delivery guy.
Doug tentatively agreed to help, and I remember feeling so proud of him as he drove off in aid of a friend.
30 minutes later, I saw the car drive back into the driveway… I hurried to the door and opened it to find a broken man standing on the other side. His head was hung low, his eyes were red, and his energy looked like he had been punched in the guts!
As it turned out… he had walked up to his very first delivery, rang the doorbell and it was opened by a high-profile businessman that knew Doug as the Assistant Manager of Costco. They had done business together for years.
The businessman was astounded, and Doug was completely embarrassed and demoralized! It felt as if the last year of turmoil had just crashed in around him!
I threw on my boots and jacket, scooped up ‘The Four Agreements’ book that we had purchased earlier in the day, and jumped into the car with him.
We drove to every corner of the city that night delivering pizzas, with me reading ‘The Four Agreements’ out loud!! I would read a little and then we would discuss the meaning and significance of what I had just read.
By the time we drove back into our driveway at 1am… we had finished the book, strengthened our relationship and transformed into better versions of ourselves. ✨It was a magical night!✨
(I am teary eyed even writing about it!)
The Four Agreements are:
Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best
That night, Don’t take anything personally, was the agreement that resonated the most with me. It helped me to gracefully navigate the family drama that was swirling in our lives at the time.
Always do your best was the agreement that Doug connected with the most. It is a phrase that he still speaks all of these years later “I know I did my best, I cannot do any better than that.”
Shortly after our first pizza delivery read… Doug signed up to take his Masters Degree in Education and has gone on to become the Director of Regional Education at our local college. He is currently reading ‘The Four Agreements’ with the Principals and Operational Managers at the five campuses that he is responsible for.
Sometimes the worst experiences can turn into the greatest gifts!
Each time I engage with this beautiful book a different agreement settles into my heart and I focus on practicing it. It never ceases to amaze me how I learn something new and relevant each and every time I read it!
‘The Four Agreements’ has truly been a gift in our lives, and I highly recommend that you give it a read!
Love,
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