The Weight of Worthiness
A recent conversation with my beautiful partners has had me in moments of deep contemplation lately and I thought the subject might translate nicely to a thought-provoking blog.
We got on to the subject of ‘worthiness’ and wow … what a 17 sided box this ended up being!I realized that if we were thinking, pondering or struggling with this emotion than others are probably silently feeling the same way.
Worthiness is really not a subject we talk about… even with our closest confidants.We openly talk about happiness, joy, anger or frustration but when was the last time you talked to someone about the feelings behind what makes you feel worthy?
Worthiness is one of those invisible coats we all put on. Sometimes it’s warm and comforting, stitched together with our successes, our kindness, our love. Other times it feels heavy, scratchy, even suffocating… woven out of fear, self-doubt, or the quiet worry that we’ll never quite measure up.
Everyone defines their worthiness differently and it is often defined by external markers that were established for us either by society or in our childhood by mimicking the authority figures in our lives.
What is expected of me?
What have I accomplished (or failed at)?
Have I done enough?
The thing about tying our worthiness to outside markers is that it makes the ground beneath us unsteady. It shifts with every opinion, every expectation, every comparison. It’s like trying to build a house on quicksand. One moment you feel solid, the next you’re sinking because someone’s words or your own inner critic knocked the ground out from under you.
The fear of what other people might think is perhaps the biggest thief of worthiness. How many times have we stayed quiet, shrunk ourselves down, or hidden a part of who we are… not because we didn’t believe in it, but because we feared it wouldn’t be accepted? That fear is heavy. It holds us back from speaking truth, from stepping into possibility, from living as fully as we are meant to.
Perhaps the shift comes when we realize that worthiness isn’t about achievement at all. It isn’t something you earn, achieve, or collect. It isn’t stamped on your forehead when you’ve done enough or proven yourself.
Worthiness is innate. It’s woven into your very being. You were born with it. You’ll leave this world with it.
So maybe the work isn’t about striving to become worthy, but about remembering that we already are. It’s the slow unlearning of the conditions we’ve carried… peeling back the stories of not-enough, the pressure to perform, the fear of rejection.
When we release the chase for worthiness, we create space for something deeper… authenticity, courage, and connection.
Worthiness doesn’t demand perfection; it asks for presence. It asks us to show up as we are, to allow our stumbles and our strengths to exist side by side, and to know that both belong. In that space, freedom begins to bloom… freedom from comparison, from fear, from needing to be anything other than ourselves.
So, if “not enough” whispers in your ear today, pause. Breathe in slowly, and with the exhale, let just a little of that story go.
Worthiness isn’t waiting at the finish line… it’s walking with you, every step of the way.
‘You’ are enough.
