Imposter Syndrome...
Have you ever experienced imposter syndrome? You know, that feeling deep within that you are not qualified to show up in a role or environment that you are currently occupying.
I have struggled with imposter syndrome in pretty much every area of my life… from my work, to parenting, and especially now when it comes to believing in my ability as an entrepreneur… both my role as one of the 3 gals at The Breath Connection and as the solopreneur in my own private practice.
In addition to getting to be a part of The Breath Connection gals, I see clients one-on-one (in-person or via Zoom) in my private practice and use tools like Astrology, the Akashic Records, breathwork and meditation to help clients discover their own worth, purpose, and impact.
I have done this work for over a decade, and I still get that knot in my stomach just before a call as the self-doubt vies for my attention. Dr. Valerie Young, one of the leading experts on imposter syndrome, describes this experience as a revelation of internal thoughts rather than a reflection of actual ability.
I appreciate this insight from Dr. Young, and yet I find myself struggling to rein in or even understand this inner voice that wonders, “Who am I to be doing this work?”, “Am I enough?”, “Do I belong at this table?”
This inner voice, that is essentially just trying to keep me safe, frets as it worries about whether I’m qualified, believable, or somehow “faking it properly.”
My imposter syndrome wave ebbs and flows … both in my business and personal life. At times in the past, I have tried to ignore it, gotten mad at it, and even made myself sick over it. This past year I have been using ‘Our Healing Method’ (which we lovingly call OHM) to see if this 4-step method could help my imposter syndrome as well as it helps sore body parts. 🤔
I start with BREATHE… Step 1 of OHM.
A steady breath can calm the nervous system when it mistakes growth for danger.
Whether imposter syndrome shows up as a whisper and simmers in the background of my consciousness slowly eroding my confidence and motivation or whether it shows up loud and proud knotting my stomach, tightening my chest, clenching my jaw, and shrinking my shoulders inward, as if trying to make me smaller… it has the potential to knock me off my game and disrupt my emotional balance.
Step 1 is to stop what I’m doing and/or thinking and simply breathe…
big breath in and long slow breath out.
after doing this a few times I can feel my nervous system begin to relax and allow my body to un-knot, un-tighten, un-clench and un-shrink.
each breath continues to relax me more and more while making my spine straighter and longer.
I just keep breathing… no counting breaths, just breathing in and then breathing out long and slow.
I then moved to OBSERVE… Step 2 of OHM.
These deep inhales and long slow exhales not only calm my nervous system but they interrupt the mind chatter, allowing me to recognize the thoughts that seem to be in charge when imposter syndrome is in command.
This observation creates space between me and the fear and better equips me with the ability to respond rather than react.
For me the key here is to NOT judge myself as this fuels my imposter syndrome… the only (and perhaps the hardest) thing this Step 2 requires is just observing the thoughts I am thinking in relation to my ability to be an entrepreneur.
“Who am I? … what do I know? … I’m not an expert… I don’t know enough… I’m not good enough… not doing enough… not perfect…” and on and on.
This observe step is not about fixing… it is just about witnessing the inner dialogue that has the potential to wield such power over my perception of my reality and my abilities.
Observing this internal dialogue with openness and kindness for myself can pierce through the illusion of imposter syndrome and calm the feelings.
In this second step of OBSERVE, I kept breathing and observing myself until I feel calm enough to move on.
I then moved to APPLY… Step 3 of OHM.
Application involves action. Small actions interrupt the imposter cycle… asking a question, contributing an idea, practicing a skill all have the potential to provide proof that my capability will grow through experience, not certainty.
For me, journalling on the following journal prompts provides this interruption and release from the imposter syndrome grip, making space for me to think kinder, more empowering thoughts towards myself.
Here are some of the journal prompts that I like to free-write on:
My imposter syndrome is making me feel fearful, what is the root of this fear?
Is this fear true?
What could be true about me instead?
I write it out.
Would I give someone else permission to not be perfect?
What would it sound like if I gave myself this same grace?
I write it out.
Instead of dismissing my strengths as “not the real work,” what would I say if I saw my strengths in another?
I write it out.
I try to think about if there was ever a time when I shared my perspective and someone else commented that it helped them see things differently? Write it out.
I write it out.
It is human nature to want to build our future with the assurance of past experiences. We often do this to our detriment as we tell ourselves… “It’s never been done,” “How will I know if it will work?” etc.
When looking to the past is something I really want to do… I ask myself this: “Was there ever a time where I felt unprepared or unsure about something but forged ahead anyway and had a good experience with positive outcomes?”
I write it out.
SIDE NOTE: Frankly I am thrilled that Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell didn’t allow their imposter syndrome to prevent them from inventing the light bulb and telephone respectively… because they too could have clung to the fact that what they were wanting to invent had never been done before.
Using this 3rd step of Our Healing Method to stare my fear of failure and inadequacy in the face begins to dissolve these negative feelings… and allows my anxiety to be transformed into excitement or at the very least curiosity. 😉
Then I step into LOVE… Step 4 of OHM.
Treating myself with kindness, gentleness and compassion is how I integrate any new perspectives I have gained from the journal prompts that I went through in Step 3 above.
This step is where I remember to treat my own fears and self-doubt with the same encouragement, empathy and compassion that I would offer to a friend.
This kind of self-love reminds me:
That I do bring value.
That my perspectives, ideas and creativity are unique to me and need to be shared.
That when I am brave enough to show up despite being fearful and unsure, I give others permission to do the same.
Being present with another despite any perceived flaws or shortcomings is always enough.
Imposter syndrome often appears in the moments when we stretch into something new, not because we are unqualified, but because we care deeply.
It’s the echo of old patterns, not the truth of who we are… and the path through it is not force or perfection, it’s practice.
My imposter syndrome may never fully go away… but with every cycle of breathe. observe. apply. love., I will continue to reclaim more and more of my truth…
and my truth is your truth 🧡
… You and I are capable.
… You and I are growing.
… And you and I are allowed to show up exactly as we are… even as we evolve into more.
If you would like to grab your copy of OHM you can claim it on our website by going here
In the wise words of Winnie the Pooh…
You’re BRAVER than you believe, STRONGER than you seem, and SMARTER than you think.
Thanks for being here, and thanks for being you!! (imposter syndrome be damned!)
Love,
