The Determination Factor

This week the blog is going to be about my brother again!!! I promise, it ends in the ultimate story of determination!

I have used my younger brother Matthew as my inspiration for a couple of other blogs. But if you have not been introduced to him yet… let me tell you a bit about him.

Here are a couple of paragraphs that I wrote in my first blog starring my brother… and yes, he is going to love being referred to as a star!

Matthew was born with physical and intellectual limitations. He was hydrocephalic at birth and therefore has a fairly large head. I am thankful that they didn’t put a shunt in his head, as was a common practice 50 years ago, as I believe that may have caused more long-term complications/consequences and health issues. He has mild cerebral palsy and some balance issues but gets around just fine on his own!

Matthew didn’t do much walking or talking till about the age of 4 years old but once he started moving and speaking, he has never stopped! Our whole family was, and continues to be, Matthew’s personal cheer leading squad and he has thrived in this world that has not always been as kind to him as he is to it.

Matthew came to live with my husband and I in 1999 to start his independent life journey. Since then, Matthew has accomplished so much. He has a job at an amazing local business that treats him like gold, he is involved in Special Olympics sports, volunteers at our local hockey and lacrosse games, (he figured out how to get in on the volunteering squad so he could watch the games for free!) and lives fairly independently with just a little extra help with a few things.

But my story today, actually happened 20 years ago… to the day!

On February 10th, 2006 a group of 19 adults with developmental disabilities and 24 support workers from across British Columbia (all associated with the BCACL - BC Assoc of Community Living) started their trek up Mt Kilimanjaro in Africa. This climb was to raise public awareness of challenges facing people with developmental disabilities and their families. As well as being a fund-raising initiative to support personal growth and achievement and to promote inclusion.

Of the 19 climbers with developmental disabilities, only 2 also had significant physical disabilities and Matthew was one of them.

They had a doctor on staff that assessed all 43 climbers before they started the climb, and he originally thought maybe about 8 of the 43 participants might make it all the way to the summit.

The doc forgot to account for ‘The Determination Factor’.

On February 17th, 2006 – 30 of the 43 climbers made it to the summit of Mt Kilimanjaro at 19,340 feet!

And my brother Matthew was one of them!

Thinking of this moment in time will always make me a crying, emotional mess but it is also one of my proudest sister moments. A memory that will never cease to fill me with absolute awe!

I can’t help but think… how did we get from ‘he might never walk’ to ‘walking with assistance at 4 years old’ to ‘he just climbed to the top of Mt Kilimanjaro’!

Pure grit and determination.

Don’t ever tell my bro he might not be able to do something cause he will just double down!!!🤣🤣🤣

I remember visiting the climbing website, multiple times a day, just waiting (not so patiently) for the daily updates. I clearly remember one day that week… it was pretty cold and we were under a lot of snow in Prince George (duh … it was February and par for the course) and I was feeling super unmotivated to get to the pool for some exercise. And then I thought… “oh FFS… your physically disabled brother is climbing Mt Kilimanjaro right now… get you ass to the pool”!!!

When I feel unmotivated in life… I think of Matthew, against all odds, making it to the top of the biggest peak in Africa. Pretty hard to feel sorry for yourself when you have that moment in time to kick you in the butt!

But here’s what else I’ve realized over the years… it wasn’t just about climbing a mountain. It was about rewriting a story.

From the day Matthew was born, there were predictions. Quiet ceilings placed on his life before he even had the chance to test them. Words like “limitations” and “unlikely” hovered in the background. Someone was always underestimating him, but he kept going anyway… step by step, he kept moving forward and meeting his goals. Not fast… just forward.

That’s the part that matters.

When the doctor estimated that maybe eight climbers might make it to the summit, he was calculating oxygen levels, altitude, strength and probability. What he wasn’t calculating was heart. He wasn’t factoring in what happens when someone has spent their entire life proving expectations wrong. He wasn’t measuring the power of a family who had cheered Matthew on since those first assisted steps at four years old. He didn’t know the depth of the relationship that had been created with his support worker, Heather, and the other Prince George team, Marc and Wayne, that bonded them together with a shared goal.

Matthew didn’t summit because it was easy. He summited because he decided he would… and then he kept moving forward.

And I think that’s what The Determination Factor really is.

Most of us aren’t climbing Mount Kilimanjaro at 19,340 feet. But we are climbing something… health challenges, financial goals, grief or self-doubt. Peaks that feel just as steep when you’re in the middle of them. And just like any mountain, they’re conquered the same way… one stubborn, determined step at a time.

So, here’s to my brother… the ⭐of this blog, the climber of mountains, the accidental life coach, and the living proof that sometimes limits are just suggestions.

And that sometimes… the people the world underestimates the most are the ones who just keep moving forward.

Not fast. Just forward. ❤️